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COVID-19 – Resources for Coping and Resiliency

The Front Parlour of Youtubes

There is a theme for the tea and biscuits being served in the front parlour of youtubes that I sometimes watch. They include sour tasting and instant liquid that regrow teeth and gums, the miraculous cure for everything discovered by brilliant doctors (and offered for a limited time only – really?), the instant weight loss like magic secrets, and magical fixes for sagging eyelids and old lady lips. The crème de la crème is the Manscape ad!

Of course the marketing of “snake oil” products (as they were referenced years ago) has entered the stage online where we “live”. They used to be teeny boxes in the ads section in the backs of magazines.

When these became the main menu “for tea and biscuits”, I was at first amazed and surprised; even bewildered. My finger has become poised to click off at the first split second to jump into my selection. Some would see these as silly, entertaining, amusing and “harmless” (just a grab for cash). Some would take exception to the contrary messages about Diabetes and healthy weight/eating.

Some would reflect that the graphic images of menopausal tummies and “sticky fat” invites an instant comparison with Self and a recognition of “Uggh, me too”. Same with sagging eyelids and facial hair, wrinkles, “old lady lips”. This lands in some way and influences our experience and view of Self and others (olders, age mates). It has a scrutinizing eye for “what is here, now” (or wanting to stay ahead of). It defines what is attractive and not, and profits on our wish to control and alter. It also influences views of Self and others.

I have heard on a number of occasion comments like, I only wear tops with mid length sleeves at the shortest as I have to cover my old lady arms. I do not go swimming – do you know what I look like? I have to lose weight! Yes, women in their 80’s are still trying to lose weight, still chasing the felt sense of attractive enough, slim enough, feeling good enough to wear ‘x’ or to be seen in ‘x’, or to play in their bodies!

Hmmm. This human body in physical is in a constant state of change from birth (even before). And if we live long enough, certain things are inevitable: namely changes in skin elasticity and sagging (gravity), laugh, frown lines, and changes in our physical health status. The biggie is inevitable (death).

I might not prefer or like some of my experiences of physical aging. I might feel the surprise and bewilderment of finding myself at “this age” and I might feel this also in how I experience these silly ads before my youtubes. The one choice point I have is noticing and naming “what is here” (thanks to mindful awareness) and choosing how to respond – how to try to offer myself a lighter, “whatever-ish” tone.

Warm regards,

Shelley & Becky

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